Guard Your Mind: 5 Psychological Tricks Destructive Habits Use to Take Control

Think you’re “smart” enough to steer clear of destructive habits and addictive behavior?

Think again.

Your brain, and whole organism, for that matter is designed to carry out essential functions outside of our awareness. So much is being managed in incognito mode. You’re breathing, your organs are chugging along, and your balance and inherent sense of our physical position in space, when things are operating properly, is just happening. So amazing! What’s more, our physical biology has been carved out to draw us to things that help us survive as individuals and as a group: food, sex, garnering companionship and belonging, and avoiding pain.

What this means is our brain biology will incentivize certain behaviors through manipulation of our experience of distress and pleasure as well as our very thoughts! This phenomenon provides the ingredients for destructive habits to power grip our lives in ways that, in some instances, leave us feeling powerless.

To take control back, we must work on understanding, respecting, and even appreciating our biology trying to look out for our survival, though misguidedly. Let's delve into the five psychological tricks played by our own brains, shedding light on their mechanisms and empowering you to put the reigns in your own hands.

1. Destructive Habits are Reinforced by Actual Physical Changes in the Brain.

In his book The Biology of Desire, Marc Lewis explains that repeated engagement in behaviors that give us pleasure or alleviate suffering leads to changes in the brain's structure and function, particularly in regions such as the reward system, prefrontal cortex, and limbic system. These changes result in heightened sensitivity to stimuli associated with those behaviors and a diminished capacity for impulse control and decision-making. Furthermore, reinforcement mechanisms, such as the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine, reinforce the association between addictive behaviors and pleasurable outcomes. Over time, this reinforcement strengthens the neural circuits involved in destructive habits, making it increasingly difficult to resist cravings and control behavior.

I used to regularly binge on junk food and TV after stressful shifts at work and it felt amazing! Until it didn’t. Eating so much that late and staying up watching garbage, negatively affected my sleep and energy and sometimes made me feel achy and icky-thus increasing my likelihood of stress the next day, setting off the cycle again. I know it’s bad and I knew it then. Still, to this day, all I wanna do on the way home from a rough day is drive through a taco stand and leave the world behind with a carne asada burrito.

2. Destructive Habits Fulfill Valid Human Needs

We all need a way to pull away from anxiety, stress, loneliness, heartache, and sometimes just sheer misery. Even if it’s just for a little bit. Sometimes the feelings are just too much. Sometimes we’re just tired of working so hard. Sometimes we just don’t know how to deal with it any other way. It can seem like feelings might swallow us up; like if we allowed them to fully take occupancy in us, we’d lose control. The depth of our pain can be pure misery. These emotional needs may be rooted in past experiences or traumas that individuals may not consciously recognize or address. Sometimes desperate times push us to desperate measures. We return to destructive habits we know are horrible for some relief from suffering.

Of course, it isn’t OK for us to hurt others and ourselves with destructive behaviors. However, the need to be able to manage your feelings and to have a way to pull away for a moment from overwhelming emotional suffering is reasonable and legitimate. Trying to simply deny ourselves this can explain why efforts to “white knuckle it” often fail. Engaging in addictive behaviors doesn’t generally feel good beyond the immediate relief. It means we are acting against what we believe is right and creating extra problems. Thus, we have a responsibility to figure out other ways to safely deal with our emotions.

3. Destructive Habits Spring Forth Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive distortion refers to an irrational or exaggerated pattern of thinking that can lead to misinterpretation of situations, events, or oneself. When your unconscious brain detects a need to quell distress or cues related to the bad habit that light it up with dopamine, it can manipulate your thinking brain. Perhaps your thinking brain is made to laser point its focus to that trigger, exaggerating it’s importance. Seemingly inexplicably, you get to planning and justifying your way to engage in the delicious bad habit. Often, I’ve found myself planning a route home from work that will pass a drive thru for French fries that will make everything O.K.

This hold of the unconscious on the conscious is so strong, your thinking mind is often cajoled unwittingly into creating a story to justify it all. Sometimes this is called rationalizing or justifying. The thinking brain starts saying things like, “I’m already here, I might as well” or “It’s not as though I’m doing… ­­­­(fill in the blank whatever worse thing)” or “If they think I’m such an idiot anyway…” or “I can do whatever I want; I’m not hurting anyone,” or “Diet starts Monday (every Monday)!” Rationalizations come in all different flavors. In my opinion, the tour de force of justification strategies is simply short-term apathy towards consequences. This is otherwise known as the “F- its.” The “F- its” are a pretty dangerous place because your brain has prioritized the addictive behavior and will even encourage you to hide and sneak to avoid things and people that can get in the way. “F- it. I’m having a cigarette!” (Proceeds to enjoy a cigarette by stinky dumpster where no one they know will pass by.)

4. Destructive Habits are Woven into our Routines and Social Relationships

We require some degree of auto functioning to avoid overwhelm. We get into habits and routines to save us the difficulty of constantly having to figure out the mundane minutia of our lives, to have some consistency and structure, and enjoy familiarity and comfort. Destructive habits simply get folded into these routines. That’s the thing about addictive behaviors, they are formed via the same mechanisms that move us towards other useful behaviors that keep us sane and surviving.

To break free from bad habits, we must work on increasing our self-awareness of the routine-pull we feel, the comfort the habit provided, acknowledge and accept the discomfort its absence causes, and find alternative behaviors to try and fill the void.

Many a friendship or warm memory is connected to what could become destructive habits for some in the right circumstances. Hanging out at the bar, getting high with friends, getting respect from other through work performance, fraternity at the gym, looking out for your loved one’s needs over your own.

Our brains don’t sort the “healthy” parts from the “unhealthy” parts. It’s all tied together, bitter and sweet. And our friends may not stick around OR we can’t always stick around them when we leave a destructive habit behind. For these and other reasons, leaving behind destructive behaviors can be cause for some degree of true feelings of loss and grief. It’s not only OK to miss something or someone that was also hurting you, it makes sense.

5. Destructive Habits Harm Our Self Image, Undercutting the Strength Needed for Change

If you continue to engage in a destructive habit that you know is wrong for you: keeps you from your goals, costs money you don’t want to spend, affects your health negatively, distances you from loved ones, etc., you are acting in conflict with your own morals and values. This does not feel good; it feels terrible. It can affect our self-concept and provoke a sense of shame. True, guilt and feeling uncomfortable about our bad habits can and does motivate change. However, it’s easy to overdo it and become cruel to ourselves- speaking to ourselves in a critical manner that we would never think to subject anyone else to. The brain is at it again, trying to help but missing the mark. At times the shame we feel prevents us from being able think about it at all. Either way: by not acknowledging it or by berating ourselves, we cut down our own power to change. We must strive to both take responsibility AND extend compassion to ourselves to be most effective in overcoming destructive habits.

By increasing self-awareness, developing new routines and skills, and accepting the uncomfortable feeling that even positive change brings, you can reclaim control over your life. Granted, easier said than done, and counseling can help. You can claim control of your brain, but you must be a good steward. Remember, the vulnerability to bad habits built into our construction is the same stuff that has looked after us and helped us survive. Armed with understanding, you can overcome the influence of destructive habits, paving the way towards a healthier and more fulfilling life.